I Am Already Here
by Ramzes
Summary: Harry could not help but think that, judging by the way George and Ron looked at each other, he and the Weasleys would be lucky, if they wouldn’t have to rush one - or both of them – to St. Mungo’s the next morning.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: You think I own something? Err… think again?**

I Am Back

The day started like every other day in the last four months – with a hangover.

George Weasley groaned, reluctant to open his eyes, because he knew that something was out of order and he did not want to know what exactly it was. Then he remembered, as he did every morning: Fred. Fred was dead.

With a low groan, he got out of bed and slowly went downstairs, not bothering to take hold of the banister, although the world was spinning madly around him and he could easily fall down on the stairs. He would not care if he did.

Miraculously, he reached the lower floor without any accidents. He headed straight for the kitchen and had just started to prepare an Anti-hangover Potion, when he noticed that there was a full ewer of it already waiting for him on the table.

Frowning, he drank one cup and stared darkly at the floor. _If Verity already knew that I'd need it, things are getting quite out of hand_, he thought. _I have to be careful – I don't want to turn into a drunkard_. Even while he was thinking that, he knew that he would drain a full bottle of Firewhiskey, when he got to his room in the evening. He needed to escape from the everlasting pain and that was the only way he knew how.

He waited, until the potion took effect and his head cleared, before he went down the stairs to the first floor and entered the shop.

The bustle and noise that enveloped him made him feel like he was trapped. He was used to it, though, and the moment he stepped over the threshold, he became what people expected him to be: a lively, joking, grinning Weasley twin, who adored pranking people and selling his talent for jokes. His lips curved into a jovial smile, his eyes started shining and he walked through the shop, chatting amiable with the customers.

It was not enough to fool Verity, though. When he reached her, she looked at him and asked in a low voice, "Are you all right?"

George sighed, but somehow managed to smile. "Yes," he said, "I'm fine. Where is Ron?"

"He asked for a free afternoon yesterday, don't you remember?" The young woman sounded surprised.

"Ah, yes, of course I do," George lied. Had Ron really asked that of him? And even if he had promised him a free afternoon, shouldn't have Ron waited _till_ afternoon to leave? With a quick look at the clock, George realized that it was almost five o'clock. _Merlin, I've messed day and night. I've got to stop._ Of course, he knew that he woudn't do this. Yes, he was completely aware that the ghost resemblance of life that he was currently leading was disastrous for him, but he did not have enough will to put things right. He would be unable to deal with the pain otherwise.

Verity did not look convinced, but she let it pass. Soon, they closed the shop and George assured her that it was okay to leave, that he would be fine.

Only, he wouldn't be fine. Never again. Never, ever again. Half of him was missing. How was he supposed to be fine?!...

He was not aware that he had started dozing, when suddenly a loud cries almost made him jump out of his skin. He ran to the window and recognized the unmistakable red and green flashes of curses.

_The Death Eaters who have not been caught yet_! He barely had the time to think about this, when he recognized the hated face of Rodolphus Lestrange and a few other faces that he did not lose time to think of whom they belonged to. He bolted through the front door of his shop, wand in hand, and with great relief noticed that there were a dozen Aurors hurrying to meet the Death Eaters. With something less than relief, he realized that from the Death Eaters' other side were coming his brother Ron and Harry Potter, of all people! Honestly, those two! They couldn't even handle the simple task of seeing Hermione off to her parents' home without running into a trouble!

Unfortunately, the Death Eaters had seen them too and now attacked them with all their fury. They knew that they had nothing left to lose, so the only thing they wanted was to drag The Boy Who Lived with them in their destruction. Fortunately, Harry and Ron had quick reflexes and did not wait to be attacked – they attacked first. For a few moments, everything was a mess of green and red flames and loud shouts. And then George saw a green flame and the next moment, Ron fell on the ground and Harry yelled 'No' and started frantically shaking him.

George ran to them, completely oblivious to the battle that was still going on behind him. There was a spout of blood streaming from the side of Ron's head, but George heard him moaning in pain and found himself completely unable to move, so great was his relief.

Still kneeling next to Ron, Harry suddenly burst out laughing and George found himself laughing like mad, too. This was the only way to express his happiness.

Through the blood on his forehead and cheek, Ron still managed to glare at them nastily. "What's so bloody funny?" he groaned.

"You're alive," Harry explained through his laughter.

"Well, of course I am alive! I just threw myself on the ground to avoid the Avada Kedavra and it hurts like hell! Is _that_ what is so funny?"

Suddenly, George fell a wave of such fury that he stopped laughing and had to clench his fists to stop himself from throttling Ron. His mind barely registered the fact that behind them, the battle was over and the Aurors were taking the Death Eaters in custody. A few moments later, Kingsley Shacklebolt went to them and gave them a quick look. "You okay?" he asked, bending over Ron to heal his wound.

"Yeah," Harry answered.

"No," George said at the same time.

Kingsley looked from one of them to the other and, obviously noticing in George's eyes something crazy, decided that it would be best to clear off.

"What's wrong with you?" Ron was glaring at his brother.

"With me?!" George repeated, and then he bent down, grabbed Ron's shirt and roughly pulled him on his feet. "You idiot!" he suddenly yelled. "You scared me to death!"

Ron blinked. That was too much. "Oh, shut up!" he snapped. "_I _scared you? And what do you think you've been doing to me, since Fred died?"

George recoiled, as if Ron had slapped him. "You're going too far, Ronniekins," he growled.

"The hell I am! Really, George, who do you think you are? Rejecting us all, avoiding our meetings, drinking yourself into stupor, rejecting all our efforts to help you, pretending not to notice how much you worry us all and now you have the nerve to stand here and say that _I scared you to death_? That's rich, even for you!" To his horror, Ron felt the tears that started prickling in his eyes, but he could not stop them anymore than he could stop his angry yelling.

George was on the verge of tears, too. "_Fine_!" he shouted. "Go there and let them kill you. Why should I care! If you prefer to interpret my concerns this way, well, it's up to you. You'll see whether I'm going to give you a single thought anymore... you don't deserve it, anyway. You never did. Stupid git."

"Well, if you think you're telling me something new, then think again!" Ron snarled.

"And what was that supposed to mean?" George demanded.

Harry stood helplessly next to them, not knowing what to do. He had seen Ron and George... Ron and the twins... fighting many times at Hogwarts, but it had been nothing like the scene that he was witnessing now.

"You know very well what I mean. Never mind, it doesn't matter now. Just stop feeling concerned about me, because you lost your rights to feel this way, you bloody egoist!"

Never in his life had Harry been happier to see Bill and Charlie, who suddenly emerged from the falling darkness. George and Ron paid no attention to them, engaged in their shouting match.

"What on earth is going on here?" Bill asked.

"George... they..." Harry started and then shrugged helplessly.

Bill started acting immediately: he took George by the arm and with a strong hold forced him to follow him into the joke shop, while Charlie was doing the same with Ron. Harry trailed behind them.

Once they were all inside, George burst out, "You, you and your bloody foolishness! Are you ever going to learn?"

"Are you calling me foolish?" Ron asked defensively.

"I do! Honestly, can you spend a single year, _just one_, without being hit by a chess piece, attacked by werewolves, or brains, or Death Eaters? Can you? No, you can't! And you've got the cheek to tell me that my natural grief because of Fred makes me an egoist?"

Ron snorted. "Natural! There isn't anything natural in the way you're drowning in your self-pity. It's crazy! And if you can't understand it, you're even crazier. Really, can't you see what you're doing to us? Like you're the only one grieving! You know, I'm sick of looking everyone losing their mind over poor George. I'm done with it, do you hear me?"

Bill and Charlie exchanged glances. Harry watched horrified, but did not dare to say anything.

"Go to hell," George spat.

"No, you go to hell. I am done with this! I am fed up with you and I am leaving this stupid shop. I want to have a life, for Merlin's sake! And I'll have it. It might be enough for you to share your solitude with the reminiscence of a dead man, but I need to contact with people who are warm and real... and preferably alive!"

Ron had gone too far and even as angry as he was, he felt that. But he would not take his words back – he just couldn't. George's withdrawal had been a source of never ending concern for everyone and now he dared to act as if he cared? Ron would have none of it.

"Oh yes, I'm sure you do," George finally said, very quietly. "Well, since our little heart-to-heart is going on so well, let me make a confession. My secret for yours. Every night, I lie in my bed and I wonder why it had to be him. Why couldn't have been you instead."

Ron's face had been pale before, but now, it became even paler. His eyes were fiery, mirroring George's own. Harry took a quick breath. He had never imagined that there would be a day when Ron and George Weasley would stare at each other with eyes, full of hatred, as Aurors and Death Eaters would look at each other.

Bill stepped between the two of them and gave them a stern glance. "I am ashamed of both of you," he said in a low voice that was trembling with fury. "I am ashamed of you, do you hear me? And you should be ashamed of yourselves."

Not saying another word, he went to the door and slammed it shut behind him so violently that the glass of the window broke.

Charlie sighed, looking at Ron and George. He looked completely crestfallen. "Come on," he whispered to Harry, "let's get out of here."

Harry hesitated. "But can we leave them alone? They will probably come to blows."

"Even so." Charlie's voice was still barely audible, but it sounded sure. "They are brothers and they are fighting with each other. They must settle it among themselves."

Harry followed him outside, but looking at his two friends, he could not help but think that the way they looked ready to settle it, he and the Weasleys would be lucky, if they wouldn't have to rush one of them – or both of them – to St. Mungo's the next morning.

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**A. N. Want to know what happens next? Well, I know what you think about this chapter. Deal?**

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	2. Chapter 2

I Am Already Here

_Disclaimer: I already said it: nothing is mine._

**Thank you, Astra Bla****ck, x tree 09, hondagurl, and Dreamer758 for your wonderful reviews. I hope you'll like this chapter.**

Chapter 2

George and Ron stood frozen; not looking away from each other, both unable to believe what was said. The unbearable challenge slowly disappeared from their faces, but their minds were paralyzed. Neither of them could think of something to say. Something between them had broken irreversibly and they both felt it, but had no idea what to do.

How long had they stood like that, looking at each other with horror? Maybe it was hours; or maybe it was just minutes. Finally, George made a slight movement – a faint wave to the kitchen.

"Hungry?"

Ron nodded, although it was not true. Food was the last thing in his mind, as well as in George's, but they went to the kitchen and sat at the table anyway, desperate to find an excuse to stay together and have the time to think of how to remedy the situation. Despite everything they had said, they did not want to lose whatever frail bond their rash words had left hanging limply between them.

It looked inevitable, though.

They made attempts to start a conversation, but they remained just that, attempts. Had Ron really found strange his vain attempts to get George into talking the last four months? What was happening now was really strange, because this time it was not only Ron who was trying to start a conversation – George was trying too, but they just could not find a topic to which they could say more than a few sentences. They were growing more and more apart with every minute and they knew it and were horrified of it, but they could do nothing to stop it.

'Stay for the night?" George finally suggested, after a whole evening full of failed attempts to restore what a few hasty words had destroyed.

He fully expected that Ron would refuse – a night in the flat that Ron and Harry were sharing definitely would be better for his brother that a night here, amidst all that tension, - but Ron only nodded.

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**A few hours later…**

A flash of green light.

"Fred!" He dropped to his knees and started shaking his brother, but Fred did not move. Behind him, in front of him, all around him he could hear the aftermath of the battle, but it was somehow muted, only a background of what he was seeing in front of him. The disbelieving shock on Ginny's face. The tears on Percy's. His mother's sobs. And Fred – Fred, who would not move, no matter how hard George was shaking him.

"C'mon, Fred! Don't be like that!" He shook him again and looked down to see his response.

There was no response… no response and no Fred. George knew that Fred was dead, that it was the same nightmare that he was having almost every night, but this time there was something different – there was that green light and then the body sprawled in front of him suddenly was not Fred's, but Ron's!

"Noooo!"

He woke up with a startle. He was breathing rapidly and when he ran a hand over his eyes, he realized that it came down wet. Merlin, how he hated this nightmare!

Suddenly, he bolted out of bed and hurriedly headed over to the guest room. He knew it had been only a dream, of course he knew that, but he had to know for sure, he needed to see…

Ron was lying completely motionless on his bed, his pale face flooded with the light of the pale moon. It was the night of the full moon and George thought of his ex-teacher, who had been cursed by the moon, of little Teddy, of all people who had to deal with the aftermath…

Very carefully, he raised a hand and touched Ron's cheek. It was warm. He was alive. Just sleeping. For a while, George stood there, looking at the slight rise and fall of Ron's chest, deep in thoughts. What would happen now? How would they make it all right after what had happened the day before? How could Ron say those things to him? How could he say those things to Ron?

_I wish you were here, Fred, _he thought_. You would have known how to find a way out of this situation._ But Fred was not there. George had never felt more helpless in his life. Even if Ron was right – if he had neglected his family, - he had still relied on their support, he had taken it for granted. The last few hours had shown him how dangerously close to breaking the family bonds he could be. Well, it was not entirely his fault – Ron had been a real git, but yet, George did not want to ruin their relationship. Only, he could see no way to prevent that.

Slowly, George turned back and headed outside, although he knew that he would not be able to fall asleep.

He was already in the hall, reaching for the door-handle to close it behind him, when he heard it – the unmistakable sound of moaning. Thinking that Ron must have been hurt worse than he had thought in the evening, George came back and bent over the bed.

The expression on Ron's face showed no pain, though – only terror. There was a long moment, before George realized what was going on.

"Ron! Ron, wake up! You're having a nightmare!"

No reaction. George grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him hard. "Wake up! It's only a dream!"

Then, all of a sudden, Ron's eyes opened and he looked frantically around. He looked confused, as if he was wondering where he was and what had happened to the scene that he had been seeing only moments earlier.

"You are at our… my flat," George helped him. "You were having a nightmare."

Ron's eyes found their focus and his lips curled into a sickening resemblance of a smile. "A nightmare," he repeated bitterly. "It was real."

George shook his head. "It was a nightmare, Ron. You are awake now."

"Yes. Yes, of course."

He wiped the sweat from his face and swallowed dryly.

"Do you want some water?" George asked. "I can go downstairs to the kitchen and bring you a glass –"

"No," Ron said. "No. Just – stay here."

It was like nothing bad had happened between the two of them. George knew that it would not last for long, but he decided to take what he could from the moment. Ron obviously did not want to be alone, still in the clutches of his nightmare and Merlin knew that George had been alone more than enough for the last months. He sat on the bed and looked curiously at Ron. Something about the way his brother had said 'of course' had sounded not quite right and George could not catch what was false.

"Ask," Ron said without looking at him. "Otherwise, you'll explode with curiosity."

George realized that it was true. For first time in moths, something had really kept his interest. "What were you dreaming about?"

Ron hesitated. "I was looking for Harry and Hermione," he said.

George blinked. Was _that_ it? Ron was still very pale and the vein on his temple was still visibly pulsing. "You were having such an awful nightmare just because you thought you've lost sight of them?"

Ron turned to one side, so he would not face George. "I didn't _lose_ _sight_ of them," he said. "I _left_ them. I mean, for real."

"What?" Even without looking at him, Ron could imagine the expression of shock on George's face.

"I left them," he repeated. "During the seventh year. Before Christmas."

George slowly shook his head. Was Ron still dreaming or what? Maybe he was losing it? Maybe George had been losing it so hard that he had not noticed that Ron was losing it, too? "Come on, Ron, go to sleep and stop talking nonsense. You spent the whole year with the two of them, getting us worried to no end, remember?"

Ron snorted. "That's what you think."

Now, he sounded more like the Ron George knew. He really wished that his brother had not added, "I told you, I lost them. I ran away from them. And then, when I wanted to go back, I couldn't find them."

Now, he sounded very, very tired. And guilty. He was serious. George thought for a few seconds, before asking, "Why?"

Again, Ron hesitated. "It was the Horcrux," he said. "It was because of the Horcrux."

_The Horcrux?_ Yes, George remembered something about seven Horcruxes and so on, but he had not really paid attention. It had been too soon after… well, after. He really wanted to know, though. How could anything be strong enough to become a reason for _separating Ron from Harry and Hermione_?

"How - ?" He did not finish the question, but Ron understood.

"It made me think of some things that I've been… I've been thinking anyway, but it made them harder. Ten times harder. A hundred times. I could not take it anymore, so I left."

"What were those things?" George's curiosity was becoming stronger and stronger.

No answer.

"What things, Ron?"

Still nothing.

"Where did you go?" George asked, when it became clear that Ron would not answer.

"To Shell Cottage. I stayed there for a while. I asked Bill not to tell you."

_Bill_. Suddenly, George felt something that he could not quite put his finger in. He only knew that it was a strong feeling and that he did not like it at all.

"Finally, I understood how to find Harry and Hermione and left."

"Why Bill?" George asked.

"What?"

"Why Bill? Why didn't you go to the Burrow? Or even come to us?"

Ron laughed. It was not a merry laugh at all. "Because I wanted to keep my skin intact? Come on, George, do you honestly think I would dare to stand in front of you and… and Fred after _abandoning_ them? You would have killed me right there and then."

"We wouldn't have."

"Come again?"

"Well, maybe we would have given you a spanking…" George admitted and grinned, in spite of himself. Ron's body shook silently and George knew that he was laughing, too. "A spanking that you deserved, I must add. But we would have been happy to see you."

"Oh, come on."

"No, really," George insisted. "Do you think that we were happy the whole year, not knowing where you were, not knowing even whether you were still alive? Merlin, I thought I would lose conscience, when Bill Firecalled to warn us to evacuate… he said you've been caught. He missed to mention that you _escaped_."

Ron whistled. "Wow! That comes to tell us that even Bill isn't faultless. I'd never believe it."

George smiled, although Ron couldn't see it. "Listen," he said awkwardly after a while, "what I said before… I didn't mean it."

Ron's body stiffened. "Yes, you did, but it's okay."

"No, I didn't," George insisted. "What, don't you believe me?"

"No, I don't."

He had not been expecting such a blatant answer. "I said it just like that, without thinking, Ron. I wanted to hurt you. I didn't think, that's all."

"Well, that isn't anything new." But there was no edge in Ron's voice, it just sounded hoarse. George reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Water?" he asked again.

"Yes, please."

George went to the kitchen just in time to see Harry's face appearing into the fireplace. "Hi, Harry," he said. "Something wrong?"

Harry looked slightly concerned. "I just came back to the flat," he said, and George raised an eyebrow.

"Should I warn Mum how her little Ginny spends her nights?" he joked.

Harry didn't smile. "Ron isn't here," he said, "and nobody has seen him. After the meeting with the Death Eaters I'm worried that – "

"Easy," George interrupted him, "Ron is here."

Harry visibly relaxed. "Is he… all right?" he asked. It was obvious for George that Harry did not want to mention about what had happened earlier between Ron and George.

"He isn't in his best shape," George admitted, "but everything is under control."

"Should I come?"

George fell silent for a while and then gave Harry a look that he read exactly for what it meant: _he might be your best friend, but he's _my_ brother. Leave him to me_. "No need of that, Harry," George said calmly, smiling. "I am already here."

When he returned to the guest room, Ron had turned with his face to the door. He seemed calmer now, although his face was still very pale. _He's been like this for months,_ George suddenly thought and wondered why on earth had he not realized that earlier.

"Here," he said, handing Ron the glass. Ron sniffed it suspiciously.

"There isn't any of your products in it, is there?" he asked.

George grinned. "No, there isn't, but I'd say that anyway."

Ron drained the cup and sighed contentedly.

"Want something else?" George asked.

"Yes," Ron answered and then looked away. "I'd like it, if you stay here until I fall asleep. If I am not bothering you, of course," he added quickly. "Just this time."

George looked at him, his expression unreadable. "No, you're not bothering me," he said. "You're right. I'd like it, too."

He sat on the bed and Ron closed his eyes. Not even a few minutes later, he was back to sleep, this time without nightmares. George watched him, deep in thought about Horcruxes, family relationships and all the possibilities a glass of water could provide for their… his products. Little by little, it started dawning and George changed his position, so his body blocked the sun from shining in Ron's face.

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**A. N. Well, that was it. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Just click the nice button for reviewing and make my day.**

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